At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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