her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
