I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Fuck appropriateness.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize