sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
