He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
ttyl tear gas
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
