She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
