i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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