Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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