Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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