I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize