Your tits are I can't wait for
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
