I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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