Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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