Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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