this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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