What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
