Me. At least after what I've been through.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
