i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
3 2 1 whiskey
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
