I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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