New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it was like eating out sand paper
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
