We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
false alarm, still single
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
