Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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