i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
