she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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