What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize