I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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