the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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