Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
