Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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