i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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