If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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