This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
