I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
