oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
be right there i have to get my cape
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
