I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
