I just pynch a tree in the face
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
