I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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