I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
