i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
