i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
