Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize