I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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