i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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