I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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