She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Quick, to the slutcave!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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