I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
