if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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