Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Your penis caused this!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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