remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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