Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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