im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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