Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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