You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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