Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
