My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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