That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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