Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
