Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
