Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize