i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
