he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
